Pussy Joke Number 5

BEER v PUSSY:
It is time to do a comparison between two things treasured by men, beer and pussy...
A beer is always wet.
A pussy needs encouragement.
Advantage: Beer
A beer tastes horrible served hot.
A pussy tastes better served hot.
Advantage: Pussy

Having a frosted ice cold beer makes you satisfied.
Having an ice cold pussy makes you Hillary Clinton.
Advantage: Beer

Beers have commercials making fun of hot pussy.
Pussy is its own commercial and needs to advertisement.
Advantage: Tie

If you get a hair in your beer you want to throw up.
If you get a hair in your teeth consuming pussy, you are not disgusted.
Advantage: Pussy

24 beers come in a box.
A pussy is a box you can cum in.
Advantage: Pussy

Too much head makes you mad at the person giving you a beer.
Pussy likes head and everything that cums after.
Advantage: Pussy

If a beer is brewed with yeast, it is still edible.
If a pussy smells like brew don’t get near it.
Advantage: Beer

If you come home smelling like beer, your wife may get mad.
If you come home smelling like pussy, she will definitely get mad.
Advantage: Beer

6 beers in a night and you better not drive.
6 pussies in a night and you have done all the driving you need.
Advantage: Pussy

Buy too much beer and you will get fat.
Buy too much pussy and you will get poor.
Advantage: Tie

It is socially acceptable to have a beer in the stands at a football game.
You are a legend if you have a pussy in the stands at a football game.
Advantage: Pussy

If a cop smells beer on your breath, you are going to get a breathalyzer.
If a cop smells pussy on your breath, you are going to get a high five.
Advantage: Pussy

With beer, bigger is better.
With pussy smaller is better.
Advantage: Beer

Wearing a condom does not make a beer any less enjoyable.
Wearing a condom makes a pussy just another pleasure hole.
Advantage: Beer

Pussy can make you see God.
Beer can make you see the porcelain god.
Advantage: Pussy

If you think all day about the next pussy you are normal.
If you think all day about your next beer, you are an alcoholic.
Advantage: Pussy

Peeling labels off of beer bottles is boring.
Peeling panties off of a pussy is fun.
Advantage: Pussy

If you try to snag a beer at work, you get fired.
If you try to snag a pussy at work, you get hit with sexual harassment.
Advantage: Tie

If you suddenly drop a beer, it may break or spill.
If you suddenly drop a pussy, it may hunt you down like the dog you are.
Advantage: Beer

If you change to another beer, your old brand will gladly have you back.
If you change to another pussy, you can never go back.
Advantage: Beer

The best beer you ever had was Ok.
The best pussy you have ever had was fantastic.
Advantage: Pussy

The worst beer you ever had you threw up or spit out
The worst pussy you have ever had was great.
Advantage: Pussy

Beer makes you fart.
Pussy farts aren’t for everyone.
Advantage: Beer

Beer comes in all tastes, sizes, and labels.
Pussy comes in all sizes, kinds, colors, and types.
Advantage: Tie

You can get up and leave a beer and never go back.
Leave a pussy and you’ll never hear the end of it.
Advantage: Beer

Beer is limited to what you can do with it.
There are almost no limitations on pussy if you’re creative.
Advantage: Pussy

Bad beer: Heineken, Carling Black Label, Moosehead
Bad pussy: Roseanne, Janet Reno, Madeline Albright.
Advantage: Tie

Good beer: Chili Beer, Schlitz, Miller Draft
Good pussy: It’s hard to find a bad Pussy.
Advantage. Pussy

The government taxes beer.
Some pussy comes with a fee, all come with baggage.
Advantage: Tie

If you spill a beer you can clean it up.
If pussy spills out it can be cleaned.
Advantage: Tie

Beer is acceptable with a head.
If it looks like a Pussy but has a head it’s unacceptable.
Advantage: Beer

Beer does not go well in the shower.
Pussy is great in the shower.
Advantage: Pussy

Beer makes you Pee.
Pussy pee is not for me.
Advantage: Beer

Beer tastes good.
Pussy is less filing.
Advantage: Tie

Beer comes fat free.
Fat pussy is an acquired taste.
Advantage: Beer

You can’t dress up a beer.
Pussy is almost always dressed up.
Advantage: Pussy

There is never a time when you can’t have a beer.
There are times when a pussy can’t be had.
Advantage: Beer

If you get drunk and pee in your beer no one cares.
If you get drunk and pee in a pussy you may have your Winnie cut off.
Advantage: Beer

Beer can’t multiply and have little beers.
Pussy can almost certainly multiply.
Advantage: Beer

Beer looks the same sober as drunk.
Some Pussy looks better drunk than sober.
Advantage: Beer